I hear her call

Kokoroa Beach

Its been a while since I have travelled through New Zealand working. Its an old life, one in the past BUT this morning after meditation, filled with the joy of life, NZ and the people I love, I was reminded of this post from a long time ago and thought, bring it back………. I still feel the same way now as I did then.

I have seen some of the most breath taking scenery living in this country. If I ever wondered why we decided to return to Aotearoa and live, those wonderings have found a place within this most spectacular country I call home.

Thank you Alexandra for your clear winter days and spectacular mountains covered in snow. If I had taken my camera you would have recognised your snowy features on my blog. Lake Dunstan and your serene looking-glass surface, I could not help but see myself and know why I was called back. It is a strange thing to know that the land holds my heart and that my spirit soars when I wander the land as I have been doing.

haere mai

I hear you calling me.
haere mai, haere mai
in my dreams
haere mai, haere mai
from the land you call to me
call to me
come home

my heart is in your forests
my spirit is in your land
eyes coloured by your sky
sea washed by ancient rites
I hear you calling me
back to the land,
to the land

my ancestors/mothers rest
within their ground
calling me
haere mai, haere mai
welcome home daughter
you of the land
welcome home daughter
you of the sky
sacred sea
sacred spirit
we watch our daughter
daughter of daughters
we watch her now.
call to your land daughter
call to your land
call to all the daughters
haere mai, haere mai daughter
now of the land

(c) Carol

creativity

Four things I have learnt about creativity

• within me there is a rich seam of creative potential and what lies between me and that potential is in the past. If I hark to the past (and their voices) I cannot hear my secret self speak.
• inspiration can come at any time, be ready.
• because someone does not see what I see, its not wrong, it’s just another point of view.
• trust the intuitive, creative flash. Its a spiritual experience like no other, and leave the thinking for later.

The new banner is an etching called blue dream…. (c) carol 2009

I would like…

Identity (c) 2009 Carol

• to learn flamenco dancing..
• to learn how to speak with compassion in harsh environments..
• to learn how to hold love gently in my hands.. when I am raging within..
• to learn how to stay open hearted when I am fearful..
• I would like…………. how to take much better photographs!
• I would like to keep my promises, no matter what..

its pretty simple really

Pisces Moon

My intentions for this month are blu-tacked to the window above my worktable..  a fine distillation of random thoughts written in pink pen on a page from my sketch book. Listed in no particular order they are my road map for September, places to go, things to do… people to do it with. Some of these intentions are ambitious, some are stating a change in heart, but what it says above all else is……

Know where I am Going and How I am Going to Get There….

Pretty simple really………….

wishes….. and dreams

Princess and the Pea (C) Carol Neilson 2009 - etching with collage - oil

I wish that magic happens for us all everyday.

That princes and princesses find each other.

That hearts keep touching, never stopping.

That maybe once upon a time is now.

That your dream comes true.

And mine too……………

thriving

maps for the journey (c)

There have been days on this journey when I look around and recognise nothing. I have days where I crave for what I knew, show me anything, something familiar and hear instead the wind whistling past my ears as I fall further into the void.

I eat, I drink, I sleep, I wake up.

I eat, I drink, I sleep, I wake up.

I walk the borders of my thinking, opening gates and letting it all loose, I swim in pools of my wanting, my needing to be something other than I’m not, and I see my betrayal of who I am now. Singed and burnt, feeling my belonging, I hear the poetry of my existence as I draw the maps, the way home to me. I hear her, the she who knows, the one inside, she brings me home……… she lands me gently on new land, and I breathe……. and I thrive…..

poem 21

artist unknown

shes a good girl

laying on her back

with the rhythm of her heart

playing the blues

she dresses

singing ragtime

and crosses

the threshold

of her mind………..

(c) carol neilson

From the Wreckage

Creating from the wreckage

I have been in the midst of my own deconstruction, feeling like a train wreck and wouldn’t you know it, this quote crossed my path………  thanks to my favourite “man” Joseph Campbell.

“Nietzsche was the one who did the job for me. At a certain moment in his life, the idea came to him of what he called “the love of your fate.” Whatever your fate is, whatever the hell happens, you say, “This is what I need.” It may look like a wreck, but go at it as though it were an opportunity, a challenge. If you bring love to that moment—not discouragement—you will find the strength is there. Any disaster that you can survive is an improvement in your character, your stature, and your life. What a privilege! This is when the spontaneity of your own nature will have a chance to flow.

Then, when looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures followed by wreckage were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You’ll see that this is really true. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes.”

~ Joseph Campbell

the return of the she

Peoples Park - Shanghai October 2008

Well yes, its been a while since my last post. Somehow in the excitement of being part of the chapter group I lost time to read the book. Life and it’s attendant priorities took over and I became immersed in other things. One of those things was the return to an old dream, the one where I study art, so I am. A late bloomer into the things that matter most to me and no others. So, just maybe there’s more to emerge from 2008, the year of sitting it out.

One other passion has been fulfilled in this silence, the one of completing my learning and beginning my practice as a energy healer/lightworker. I have spent the past year learning with the most amazing woman Ghata who has inspired me, holds such deep wisdom of the transpersonal, and is a teacher with pure integrity. I have loved being her student, and have felt loved in return. Thank you my friend………..

Secret #2 – Honouring Your Inspirations

I am inspired by:

• the spaces in between the words……

• the call of the tui family nesting in the huge gum tree outside my front door…….

• the moments of laughter and joy with my children…..

• other women…….

• swimming in the ocean as she washes, holds, rocks me with her wildness… and I am met right there, in all my wildness………

• the pain of suffering and its release………

• the hills, the sky, the ocean, the beauty of the land I live on, New Zealand……

• my tangerine skirt………

• the sisters who journey with me……….

• this song – “Happy” by Jestofunk 

There is so much more, the monk I sponsor in India, who sat and taught me, offered blessings and gave to me all that was precious to him. His love for a woman he had never met, true compassion woven with such unconditional love that transcended my humanity. I am inspired by all the possibilities in this world when I sit in this space of knowing nothing……..

By naming these things here, I honour them…….